are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
