Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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