Porn is love you can see.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
