did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sext me about skeletons
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
