batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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