If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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