So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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