Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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