I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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