A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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