I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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