marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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