Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
