Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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