there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
