he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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