Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i think i just lost a toe
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
