How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
