I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
