from now on my penis is your penis
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
