No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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