i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
