no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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