I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
