I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
