dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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