i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
