Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
