If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
