I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
