tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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