I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
