Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
