It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
