dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize