you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
