He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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