Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
