Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
