Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
