omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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