We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
