can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
