return my video game
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
