What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
