...so i touched it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
