I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
