We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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