no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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