mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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