I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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