Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
