i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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