Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I still have a little drunk in my system
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
