her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
