I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
