This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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