i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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