the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I will pee on everything he values.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
