U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
And then the night went full on bisexual.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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