hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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