i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
