i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
