I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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