its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
