dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
