I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
