who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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