Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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