so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
