Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
