THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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