Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
