you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He shit in the fireplace
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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