I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
