the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
